19. ADHD Chat – Holiday Tips

Once again the holidays are upon us and as ADHD parents, this is a mixed blessing. The holidays tend to disrupt all our specially designed schedules and routines. It tempts us with sugary treats that often make our ADHD children even more hyperactive than normal. We also have to travel sometimes to get to grandma's house or the equivalent. Sleep schedules get disrupted with our children wanting to stay up and play with the cousins. Plus, as the saying goes "you choose your friends, you don't choose your relatives.” Most of us probably have that self-obsessed, slightly obnoxious know-it-all uncle or cousin who wants to thrill all of us with his knowledge and wisdom. He will be particularly prone to give us ADHD parents lots of advice about how to handle our children better.

I've painted a sort of a negative picture of the whole holiday season and there are some definite challenges. We've got Thanksgiving with our children being out of school for four days to a week and then we've got the longer vacation over Christmas. We often have to travel - sometimes flying and sometimes driving. We will then be in a strange place that our children are not overly familiar with. They will probably be stimulated by all the new challenges that are presented to them.

Our best bet for a reasonably tolerable holiday season and the return to relative normalcy on January 2 is to have planned ahead, to have evaluated the biggest difficulties, and then to come up with our own solutions. 

I'm going to  present my relatively short list of tips. Use the ones that resonate with you, your family and the particular difficulties that you might expect to have during the holidays.

TIPS:

1. Plan – you are either staying at home and having company or you are traveling to visit. You need to anticipate difficult areas such as having to wait in an airport or having to sit in a car for a 6 Hour drive. Will your children be comfortable in a relatives home or are you better off staying in a hotel? Whether you are at home or traveling to your relatives you are familiar with the situation and likely difficult areas and what you can do about them.

2. Teach your children a relaxation practice such as breathing focus or progressive muscle relaxation so they can have some measure of emotional control.

3. Have a quiet place – when your ADHDer gets overstimulated, have a place that's quiet and comfortable chosen in advance.

4. Keep the routine as much as possible, especially bedtimes and getting up times. ADHD children do best with a predictable schedule.

5.  If you are traveling to some place your child is not familiar with, explain to him or her what the rules are in this relative’s home. An example would be ”Grandpa is really sensitive to loud noises, so we have to keep the noise down around him.”

6. Give them a job. It’s important that your child has a responsibility during the holiday so he or she feels that they are a part of the celebration.

7.  Always be strategic, never be reactive. In any situation – a temper tantrum or a fist fight or a verbal squabble – always remember that nothing good comes from bringing more emotion to the situation. First be in control of yourself as a parent, then figure out what the issue is and then take action.

8. Have some activities available, preferably some kind of exercise or sport. President Kennedy's family was famous for playing touch football during the holidays. Your family  may prefer basketball, soccer or going for a hike. 

9. Get them outdoors. Fresh air, sunshine and ground contact helps reduce tension and calms everyone. Family walks are a great idea.

10. Monitor the snack consumption. Most holiday snacks are super filled with sugar. My ADHDers became “little monsters" when their blood sugar levels got too high. So don’t let them overdose on sugar. Try to get them to select snacks with protein.

11. Prepare for the “tryptophan nap.” After filling up on turkey, you will probably find yourself in a comfortable chair or sofa in front of a football game on TV. And guess what? You’ll probably feel a strong urge to take a nap. You should work out your family plan for dealing with this. In my family, the males retreated to the television room and the women sat around the kitchen table catching up. So my wife would pay attention to the kids and I was free to catch a short nap. Your family may be different but you should have talked about the situation and planned ahead of time how you’ll handle it.

12. Praise Liberally. ADHD children typically get a lot of criticism, so to balance it out, make a conscious effort to give your child some positive input. This also helps improve their behavior.

Hope this has been somewhat helpful. Please comment on your favorite Holiday strategies.

Thanks for reading and let's make the world safe for ADHD!

Visit my website at terrygingrasphd.com to learn more about Dr. G and my ADHD coaching services. 

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DrG